Diary of a Laid-Off Dad: Episode 11
Unicorns.
I guess they exist.
According to every employer out there. Or at least the ones I know of.
My current layoff stint has confirmed — or reconfirmed — a long-held belief that employers in every industry of every shape and size expect perfection from would-be employees. From error-free polished resumes to flawless interviews to acceptance of compensation and working conditions without pushback, nowadays companies have the upper hand from a field of hundreds of candidates.
And in all fairness, I get it. Employees are expensive. Payroll tops all other expenses for companies, more so than leases, taxes, benefits, and sometimes all such costs and more combined. While the latter statement may be like an overgeneralization to some, the point is hiring has real financial consequences, making bringing on the wrong employee even more costly.
So, companies scrutinize job applicants to reduce hiring mistakes. Or so we’re told.
From resumes to job portals to recruiter interviews to panel interviews to behavioral assessments to special projects (and this is just a small sampling of the candidate requirements), applicants such as me are experiencing more criteria before even being considered for open roles. Long gone for most of us are the days of walking into a business, speaking with the manager, and shaking their hand with a job offer having been made. (My dad and others from the baby boomer generation speak of hiring in their day in this manner.) Looking for a job is a job; this aphorism has always been true, and now more than ever.
Such increased conditions and requirements mean that when a candidate does concede to the applicant process and spends weeks or months being entertained by a potential employer only to be rejected, the sting hurts with a particular sense of intensity. Feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and unfairness arise. Imposter syndrome rears its ugly head. And for candidates like me, a specific emotion bubbles up from the depths:
Dad guilt.
Yep, it’s a real thing. Archaic as it may seem for a man’s ego to be tied to their job, in these desperate times employment goes beyond a sense of accomplishment and reputation. It provides a lifeline in an uncertain economy, keeps creditors at bay, and bolsters prospects for future jobs (because ironically, it’s easier to find a job when you have a job). So, when dads (or any parent or guardian for that matter) put their best efforts to bounce back from a layoff only to face rejection again and again and again, the seemingly never-ending process cuts deep.
Those reading this may not be able to relate. But I bet you someone you know does. Or you may be the dad nodding his head in agreement, having connected with some or all of what I’ve said so far.
To the latter, or anyone else needing to hear this message, I have a few more things to say:
Stay the course.
I won’t beleaguer the point except to paraphrase one of my favorite quotes, “Those who finish first are often the last to hang in there.”
Chin up.
Don’t beat yourself up over a flub during an interview, an error on your resume, or even the steps you could have taken in your career to prevent your current joblessness. Keep your head held high. And don’t look back, because you’re not going that way.
And lastly . . . You are a unicorn.
The employers who have rejected you may not see it. But your kids do. Period.
