Diary of a Laid-Off Dad: Episode 7
Man, Halloween is fun.
I know, I’m stating the obvious. Maybe I should rephrase: I rediscovered how much fun Halloween can be.
It’s one of those unobserved-but-should-be-observed holidays. We working adults don’t get it off if it falls on a weekday, like it did this year, so it often loses its luster once you eclipse your twenties and early thirties and really start adulting later in life. Throw in a stressful profession and a few kids and it becomes a family holiday that sneaks up on you in between meetings, emails, and projects. Yes, you go trick-or-treating and take pictures, but do you truly enjoy it distraction-free? For me, the answer the past few years had been “no.”
Being laid off a few weeks before Halloween alleviated all those work obligations; the holiday also provided me reprieve from my new job search, as it gave me something lighthearted and fun to look forward to in late October. For once in my fatherhood phase, I found myself approaching the holiday not as a worrier but as a dad. In between job applications and calls with recruiters, I’d emerge from my home office for a break and admire the great touches my wife and kids had put into the interior decorations. I also had time to watch in wonder as my boys smiled every evening while we turned on the air pumps to our inflatable lawn decorations every night. And I must have had dozens of conversations with my sons about what they were going to be this year (spoiler alert: one was a hotdog and the other a bottle of mustard) and how much candy they expected (my favorite answer, “All of it”).
Then Halloween finally came. All the lead-up to the holiday made the day even more special. I didn’t double-check my laptop for last-minute emails or Slack messages from work. Nor did I have to worry about the tasks I had done that day, nor check my phone incessantly for work emergencies. I devoted my full attention to my wife and sons.
This reflection on quality family time basically wrote itself, and yet, absent from my recollection is the extent of all the carefree moments I experienced. Words just fail to convey the range and depth of what I felt. Much more than pride or happiness, for lack of a better term, I felt connected. Like I was right where I belonged.
There are a few weeks to go before the Thanksgiving weekend, and after that, Christmas. As with Halloween, I want to experience that meaningful, distraction-less connection I had with my family. Not only because I want or need it but because of what they deserve: my best self showing up to devote my full attention to them and only them.
